Unwelcome guest

May it never find you
That assailant of mine
May it never
Make your home its abode
As it made mine

This messenger of pain
Visited and refused to leave
An unwelcome guest
That bullied the master of the house
I swear to you that I did not invite it in

It took advantage
Of a moment of weakness
When I despaired of life
My back was turned
And it crept swiftly by

Loneliness crept into my heart
While I busied myself with other matters
With it came pain and misery
Friends of this evil lodger
Buffeting me day and night

Would you care
To save me from their onslaught
You whom my heart cherishes
As the bee does nectar
You who my heart finds nourishment in

Save me once again
As you did in the past
From yesterday’s misery
And today’s pain
As well as the promise of more for the morrow.

I would love …

I would love
But I fear to do so
My pockets have holes
And most times are empty
I would not think to burden you so

I would love
But I fear I have forgotten
How to speak the words
Or act the part
It has been too long

I would love
But I know not where to find
One that would have me
With my many flaws
Visible and invisible

I would love
But I have grown old and gruff
Men and women alike fear my presence
I did not wish it so
But find it so

I would love
But I fear
I may have stopped believing
In love, in its actors
And its end

I would love
But my heart has grown weary
Of desiring to love
And finding no one
Year after year

I would love
But I have become a gargoyle
Frozen in my pose
The tears raining down my heart
The only proof that I am yet alive

I would love
But I have long forgotten
How to be a man
All I have been these long years
Is a soundless scream

I would love
Believe me I would
But for the many travails
That befall the traveler
Who writes this solemn epitaph.

Helens of Troy or wherever

Yes she was
Exactly that
To me
Helen

Of Sparta
Of Troy
Who or what stole her
I cannot tell

The face
That launched a thousand ships
But it was more than the face
It was what was behind the eyes

Like Cleopatra
Delilah, Eve, Helen and the queen of Sheba before her
That rare race of woman
Beautiful but not because of it

They controlled
Lives
Ships
And history

Is it a wonder
When you look at the men and nations
Through whom
They wielded their power

Humanity mourns
Israel suffered her onslaught
Solomon lavished gifts upon her
Troy stood up for her

The great Caesar was not immune
Who am I to think myself so
As time and again
In different incarnations she reigns

It was magical
As she was
Menalaus and Caesar are my witnesses
But she inevitably fluttered away

Queen bee to the next
Flower of the moment
I was one such
If for a moment

Beautiful
More than beautiful
And less than beautiful
It was not beauty but that inexplicable trait

That leaves a train
Of dead men in her wake
I am one such
And remember too clearly the day of it

It was the last I saw of her
Standing under a tree
An umbrella over her head
Wearing a brown coat

My muse
My destruction
My dream
Gone forever.

Archives: Fleeting

As quickly as it came
It goes
The joy it brought
So quickly taken away

A feast invited to
Dissolves
Just as soon as I consent
Dashing my hopes

So I mourn the illusion
It was fun while it lasted
But suddenly
Reality sets in

The instability of life is my lesson
All is fleeting
What is will not always be
Everything vanishes eventually.

Of the gods we will yet destroy

You may
Want
But if you do
Get

It would
Not be me
What you would get
Would be an altered person

The classic case
If you get what you want
Would you want
What you get

The complications
When one heart meets another
On this journey
We call life

It has happened before
Perhaps more than once
What can I say
It usually does not end well

You know what they say
About the grass being greener
It’s just till you get there
And then you think you had it better before

Or you suddenly start to see
Faults where at first you saw none
And find out that truth
That the gods are men

Men just like you
Of flesh and of blood
Nothing more
Sometimes less

Less than we were led to believe
Sometimes led by our own desire
To see more in others
Than we dare to see in ourselves

We like to worship without cause
Men unworthy
Sometimes we inflict them
With our worship

Till we discover
That they are men
And then we destroy them
For curing us of our self-deception

We hate them
With as much energy
As we loved them
We say they failed us

The lies we tell ourselves
The why I cannot tell
I can only
Hazard a feeble guess

We want to touch Olympus
And so we create our own gods
To give us that touch with deity
However self-inflicted

We return to the matter at hand
Of hearts
And the worship
Of the gods we will yet destroy.

A riddle

I’m not tall
Dark
Or handsome

What I am
I cannot
Tell

I’m not
What every mother
Would wish for her little girl

Perhaps hearts flutter
When I choose to be
The life of the party

Do not
Be deceived
It’s an act I’ve mastered well

The several skins
I’ve grown accustomed to wearing
Sometimes I forget which is real

Meanwhile
It’s difficult
To ask you to love me

Especially
When sometimes I forget
Just who I am

Perhaps you like riddles
Then I am one
You can try to answer.