Forever

Forever
Is taking forever
To find

Everything reminds me of you
Who I would forget
If I could

That face that launched
A thousand ships
My Helen of Troy

My ships have set sail
And I am now adrift
Spinning in the storm that you are

And yet you are
Absent from it all
While I spin without end

Spinning up webs
Lost in you
My eyes closed

I smell rain
I smell you
Though my arms are empty

It must be
From the last time
Or my last dream of you

Invading my days and my nights
Leading me on
A sheep to the slaughter

Slaughtered
Pieces of me scattered abroad
I stand

No flesh, no bones
Only a soul longing
For forever, for you.

You who my eyes do not know

Someday soon
I will find myself
In your arms again
Be it in life or in death

Time will pass
Seasons will change
But I will desire nowhere else
But the home of your arms

I will know
The charms of none other
I will seek
No one else but you

Whom my heart knows
Though my eyes do not
You who has plagued my dreams
And every waking hour

I will find you again
And it will be
As it has forever been
If only in my heart

My heart has known you
My days have sought you
My dreams are empty without you
Who my eyes do not know

And will not
Till the day that time will cease
And I come to life
Never to die again.

You stole tomorrow

What did you do
Do you know
What you have
Turned me into

You stilled my heart
You silenced my soul
You took away from me
Love and life

You left a shell behind
A dream unfulfilled
A heart void
Of love and life

You stole poetry
From my heart
And music
From my steps

From a child
You stole treasure
From one unarmed
You stole life

From me
You stole tomorrow
The tomorrow of my dreams
Which had you in it.

How will it end?

Would you take it
If I offered it to you
I speak about
My life

There are days
I don’t want it
There are days
I wish to run away from it

Can I call on you
On such days
And rest assured
Of your interest

My soul cries
Silently into the pillow
Asking questions
About yesterday and tomorrow

And on most days
I have no answers
And no defense
From the pain that strikes my core

Those days
Are becoming
Too frequent
For comfort

How will it end
In fire or ice
Some days
I simply do not care.

This young woman

You want it
You take it
But you don’t
Want to pay for it

You want my poetry
You want my words
You want the fragments of my soul
Till you have it all

You give nothing in return
You take all that there is
Can you look in the mirror
And tell yourself what you are?

You want love
You want kindness
You want tenderness
But give none of these

You want gifts
You want attention
You want the world to
Kiss the ground you walk on

But you give nothing
You care about no one but yourself
How more unfair can you be
This young woman.

Giving yourself away

You do it
And feel good about it
At least at first

You love like
You can never get hurt
You give all you are

Just until
You start to feel
A hole in your heart

And you find
That there is
Something missing

You had thought
Giving would
Bring the ultimate fulfillment

And it did
Or seemed to
For a while

What you did not know
Was that somewhere deep inside
You expected to receive at least a little of what you gave

And after many years
With empty hands
And an empty heart

You try to retrace your steps
And find that your ardor has cooled
Bitterness has crept in

You did not plan to allow it
But it crept in while you were in pain
And powerless to fight it

You wonder now
If you should not have given your all
Or anything at all

And that’s still fine
It can get worse
Much worse for the thinking person

For this one will ask
How good he can claim to be
If he gives only to receive

His perceived previous nobility
Becomes a stain on his soul
As he lashes back in pain

Reminding me
That hurt people
Hurt people

A dilemma
A malady
An ulcer

Begging the question
Why give
Why try

Where do
Weary, lonely hearts go
After they die

Perhaps in the deepest pits of hell
Where even the devil’s presence
Would be welcomed by some for want of company

Would it be
A little less painful
If I had not given you all my all?

A wistful remembrance of the future

A wistful remembrance
Of the future
As it sashays before my eyes

What could have been
Plays out before your mind’s eyes
Perfection

The love
That should have
Lasted forever

The home
You should have built
With that significant other

The children
You should have
Birthed together in love

The laughter
That should have
Filled your home all your lives

The memory
Of this future
That refused to come true

Taunts you
Day and night
A ceaseless torment

As you ask yourself
What will become of you
And your ill-fated dreams.